Sunday, March 28, 2010

I love music

Have I ever mentioned before how much I love music? Maybe once... maybe twice... well, I do. Today I had a neat realization and I thought I'd, you know, document it.

This morning I had choir practice with my choir. Low turnout again... looks like I'm loosing a bunch of sopranos :(. Anyway, with the amount of support I've had over the last 9 months, I wanted to end the season with a bang before we quit for summer, hopefully we'll be able to pull it off with some smaller numbers. So anyway, since a choir is only as good as it's director thinks it is, I've picked a tough song, but one I know we can do because it's one of my top five favorite songs of all time (and you can't imagine how hard that is for me to narrow down!). We're singing Gounod's 'Oh Divine Redeemer'.

This song and I go way back to high school singing it in duet with Lisa Cowley Gillespie. I pray that one day I'll have to the chance to perform this piece with the MoTab myself, but until then, I'm going to subject my little ward choir to those soaring A's! I love the amount of passion this song conveys. It truly is a prayer that I've felt before.

So after practicing that song for nearly an hour this morning, I came home and decided to read several of October's conference talks before getting ready for church. One of the talks I read was Richard G. Scott's talk called To Acquire Spiritual Guidance. In this talk he says, "Have patience as you are perfecting your ability to be led by the Spirit. By careful practice, through the application of correct principles, and by being sensitive to the feelings that come, you will gain spiritual guidance. I bear witness that the Lord, through the Holy Ghost, can speak to your mind and heart. Sometimes the impressions are just general feelings. Sometimes the direction comes so clearly and so unmistakably that it can be written down like spiritual dictation." This whole talk is basically about learning how the Spirit communicates with you personally. This is something I need to work on in a bad way, especially as we are trying to make some major life decisions in the very near future.

Well, during sacrament meeting, I ended up not being able to sing the sacrament hymn due to an overwhelming feeling of the Spirit. Reflecting on that (after wiping up my mascara streaked cheeks), and in combination with singing 'Oh Divine Redeemer' that morning, I understood how profoundly the Lord communicates with me through sacred music. I love the hymns of the gospel and try my darndest to help my boys develop a love for them too. Singing in church is my favorite part of our worship because in reality, other than those rare circumstances when you're asked to speak in sacrament, it's the only significant participation and worship we do as Latter-Day Saints. To me, saying 'Amen' at the end of a handful of prayers and a couple of talks doesn't make me feel like I've spent much of my time actually worshipping my God. But by singing the hymns and speaking the words, I find myself communicating feelings of Love for my Creator, Savior and Redeemer. And sometimes, like today, the words of the hymn are as if He is the one speaking and the Spirit is able to bear testimony that He love me too. Not many prayers of mine have been answered in the words of many songs, but sure and undeniable feelings of belonging and peace have been imprinted on my heart through song.

We concluded the day by attending an Easter Hymn Sing-in that our stake was holding tonight. Our ward was asked to sing a song we'd prepared in November of last year, "For the Beauty of the Earth" by John Rutter. My accompanist had emergency brain surgery this week, so my darling/talented/fabulous/can't-thank-her-enough Mother-in-law came and saved our bacon for the performance tonight. It's an extremely difficult song to play... and sing... and direct... but Rhyll and our choir did a great job. What a blessing. So tonight, I'm a little high on music with amazing gratitude for the Lord and this telephone-line like connection that He and I have together. We've had a LOT of good conversations today!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Have to start somewhere!

This has been the longest gap I've had in blogging since I started blogging 1.5 years ago. Something will happen and I'll think, "I should blog about that." But then I also think, "I haven't blogged about this, that, or the other thing yet, so maybe I won't blog about it yet." It's the feeling I get when every room in my house is messy and I don't know where to start, so I just don't start. Also, things have been busy around here, so my down time has been spent catching up on my shows or something else immensely worthwhile.

One thing that helps me when my whole house is messy is setting a timer for 15 minutes and devoting that 15 minutes to one room. This idea comes from FLYLADY, one of my heroes. Anyway, I'm going to apply this principle to the blogging I need to accomplish. My posts may not be super-detailed, but hopefully, some of these events can at least get documented and that will have to be good enough.

I'm going to start with Canon's surgery last week. This experience with him in the hospital is what has made this month feel like it was sucked into a vacuum. How is April next week already? Anyway... here's the story.

On Sunday, Charlie stayed home from church because he was sick with a really bad cold and cough. Monday morning, Canon woke up and told us that his "tummy hurt" really bad and he could hardly eat any breakfast. So figuring he'd picked up something from Charlie, he stayed home from school that day. Paul took them to the store at one point and Canon had fallen asleep in the car on the way home and came inside and laid down on his bed (very unusual for Canon to nap) and proceeded to sleep nearly all afternoon.

I got home from work at about 5 and was helping Canon get a drink of water. Even the process of sitting up was painful for him, as well as any touching or pushing on his abdomen, so I wish I had paid more attention to that detail earlier on. We attempted to feed him some dinner but he kept throwing up. We let him sleep on our floor at bedtime to keep him nearby for any future puking. When I went to bed at about 11:00, Canon woke up wanting more water. His pain was worse and the red flags finally started flying for me. I looked up appendicitis symptoms on my blackberry and sent Paul down to the computer to do the same. Canon was also able to pinpoint where it hurt the most, which was right above his right hip. Paul and I decided we would definitely take him in to the hospital that night, even though Canon didn't like the idea. He kept saying, "Just take me to the doctor in the morning!"

We had Paul's dad come over to help Paul give him a blessing. Though Canon must have been in tons of pain, he was being such a trooper. Paul decided he would take him in to the ER in Orem (since it's always 10 times faster than at Provo). They were able to be seen right away and with an ultrasound, they were able to confirm that it was indeed, appendicitis. (good job, mom!) Though Orem's ER is faster, the hospital isn't as well equipped with staff, so they transferred them to Utah Valley (UVRMC) for the surgery. Paul would be able to give better detail about this part, but I do know that he went in to surgery at about 5 and Paul called again at 6 saying that everything was finished and Canon was in the recovery room. They did find in the surgery that there was a small perforation with a small amount of leakage, so they knew he'd need to stay in the hospital at least through the day and night (This is Tuesday now).

I got Andy off to school and Charlie off to Grandma's house for the day and came to switch Paul places. He needed to get some sleep in a bad way. From this point, there is little to report about Canon's hospital stay. It was night and day difference from the last time I had been bedside a family member in the hospital for VERY obvious reasons. There is no way to compare a mere appendectomy to Spencer's accident. Canon was responding very well to minimal amounts of medication, able to start walking around the pediatric ward quickly and remained in pretty good spirits throughout his stay.

He did whine about being lonely and was hoping ALL of his family members would come by to see him. We had to wait until evening, but when we got visitors, we got a bunch of them and Canon was thrilled. Here's a picture of him with Andy and his cousins Ellie and Will.
We were blessed to have every nearby living Croshaw family member stop by for a quick visit. Canon especially loved the balloons they brought!

Ultimately, we were hoping we could go home on Wednesday sometime, but because of the slight rupture, they wanted to keep him on IV antibiotics an extra day. We spent the time doing laps around the pediatric ward, playing the Wii or new DS game we got him, reading, and watching the Star Wars trilogy. At one point, Canon even said, "this place is awesome!" I guess if you have to stay in the hospital, hope you get to stay in pediatrics... they definitely take extra tender loving care of you there!

We did finally get to go home on Thursday morning first thing. Canon was very anxious to get home, as was I. The sleeping arrangements for the guest were less than stellar. Canon has made extremely fast recovery. We only gave him normal tylenol or ibuprofen occasionally if he started walking funny. He's practically back to normal at this point, a week + later.

Phew, one blog post down. A bunch more to come, but no promises when you'll see them.